Sigmoidoscopy and Losing My Cool

I had mental blockage and slowed thinking the day before when i accidentally slept early and skipped one bed time dose of Mirtazapine 15 mg. 

Last night i lost my cool when supervising   my son to learn Basic Trignometry. He said he is agitated by me that was why he did not pay attention to details. Lord please help me improve my relating to Taylor.

Problem is my heart being JUDGEMENTAL which stinks offensively to Taylor. Oh Lord please change me, a sinner, offending Your people. 

Yesterday morning at La Jolla Endocopy center with Dr Mayer, i went through a process that is rather painfull. Results came out clean. I have external hamoroid and internal hamoroid. Just need to stay away from constipation, and get colonoscopy 2017.

What is causing my problems below:  

1. 4 months with no sex desire since Feb

2. Speech impairement 

3. What seems a void in brain, mental slowdown especially late in the afternoon

?

At this point docs and  I have ruled out these causes:

0. Low T or low D

1. Alteimers Disease

2. Colon 

3. Spine

4. Old Hip wounds

5. Thyroid

6. Diabetes

What is the root?

1. Mental illness defined by lack of certain brain neural agents

   - this explains why Mirtazapine 15 or 7.5 mg is helping so far.

2. Spiritual: Not Trusting God is bigger than my failures and my fear of them