Conversations with Jeremy Gilbert

To Jeremy: From our diner chat at Holy Gao's, My take away is that, while you push yourself hard, you do cut people slacks, perhaps because you are safe，secure and content, not holding resentment internally, something I can do better and must do better. I do so at the same time I minimize the slacks I cut myself, because I need those slacks reserved for big failures down the road.

heaven is real, hell is state of mind

Hell is a state of mind - ye never said a truer word. And every state of mind, left to itself, every shutting up of the creature within the dungeon of its own mind - is, in the end, Hell. But Heaven is not a state of mind. Heaven is reality itself. All that is fully real is Heavenly. For all that can be shaken will be shaken and only the unshakeable remains.

C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce

Worship at Menlo Church and other things at start of Feb 2017

I had a wonderful worship and prayer experience. I prayed for someone I do not know:

  Jesus, remind me my life's calling,-> guide my heart and my steps. 

Now I am on my way to see 封從德

God: remind me to cherish relationships, love 我的同學們，and when asked quietly described why I believe in Jesus and He called me to do what.

周五見到這些人

Nikhil Jagdal

Tomas

And his church friends Eugene, Nick (British), Kirin (making her first website) etc

10:00 - 10:45: Jay Huang
10:45 - 11:30: Michael Ditty
11:30 - 12:15: Paul Chou (Lunch)
12:15 - 1:00: Khong Liew
1:00 - 1:45: Gregory Conti

旅夜述懷的意境關聯人為什麼懷疑自己？

方先生講的話讓我想起那首詩：

星垂平野闊 月湧大江流

     In contrast to this poem: Psalm 32:7: 

    One deep sea calls to another at the roar of your waterspouts,

        All the whitecaps of your waves have swept over me.

成許泰山大人畫出這樣的意境來？

后天與封從德聚午餐。三十年了！他的白色西裝加黑色西裝之夢，他還記不記得？

New Year, New Team, More Focused Mission Sets My Heart aNew

Last Friday, we sit down to agree to a plan of transitioning me from Colin Sharp's APTech Arch team to Eric Tallet's Kernel Core Tech team. My roller coaster ride with regard to the SMMU power struggle came to a closure. 

As Shuyi said, Colin's attempt to take SMMU responsibility away from Azzedine woke me up. His team is not for me, note is Qualcomm unless the culture of Cronyism ends. 裙帶關係

But out of this turmoil, I learnt the hard lessons of "forgetting your neighbors 70 times 7 times".

Review of the month of Jan 2017:

Sharpen the Saw:

1. Created my 2017 Goals. 
1. But Tay and Tracy do not do their plans
2. Prayer room is used about 15 times out of 30 days
1. But for 10 days in the morning I laid in bed wasting time on news 
2. And for 3 or 4 times, I violated my rule of no screen after 12midnight
3. Built close bound with George and Vincent. They gave me three one-hour sessions as my mentors. Praise the Lord
4. Had one intercourse with wife mid Jan, best and most healthy in the last 16 years
5. LifeCycle is tracking my routines as planned

1. But my waist size grew by an inch, weight by 5 pounds

Family and Finance

1. Passive investment plans are running as envisioned 
2.  first, increase tithing to $1600 per month
1. I over spent during Christmas by $800
2. I did not listen to Shuyi not to wire money to Wang Chengjun

Work

1. Looking forward to building trust with Chris Henroid and Eric Tallet
1. I abandoned OPTEE prototype
2. I abandoned PMMC prototype
3. I have not tracked perf data and code snippets of assign
4. 
   
2. Look forward to coding and testing and project planning execution 

Community 

1. SWIFT class is up and down, now up
2. Church Stephen Ministries
3. More trust with Vicky and Yanru and Azzedine

Next month 

1. Get an offer 
2. Cast a wide net

Ego vs Assertive Communications

Today (Friday 1/13) George and I met in the morning. The key take away is that I now have a golden opportunity to cleanse the filth that disrupts assertiveness, and advance to a higher maturity for purpose of the kingdom. This the filthy dirt consists of self-righteousness, face-saving tendency and ego. As summarized by the saying: do not condemn your brother for his speckle in his eye until I remove the log in mine.

The said "Golden Opportunity" is the imminent change to move me from AT to VG, a move to separate me from my organizational sponsor / shelter, and put me in someone I do not trust, someone who wounded me in 2013 to 2014 over the span of about 1 year. VG spoke abusive words when he said: " Bear is now stuck. Access control cannot move to master-side, and I will not allow you to retreat to slave-side. You must be held responsible for this mess."   "You must shut up when it comes to Access Control. I will not talk to you, get out of my way and let me talk to Osman".

In my New Year's resolution, my No.1 goal in 2017 is to practice the principles of Assertive Communication written in Stephen Ministry book, "Speaking the Truth in Love - how to become an Assertive Christian".

When George shared Luke 5 with me, it because clear that Ego is the disruptor to Assertiveness. A big ego was very often responsible for causing my Aggressive attitude, or my "I'm No Ok" attitude.

During Sat's Stephen Ministry training class, Pastor Angela shared this quote from Larry Crabb:

God is always working to make His children aware of a dream that remains alive beneath the rubble of every shattered dream, a new dream that, when realized will release a new song, sung with tears, till God wipes them away and we sing with nothing but joy in our hearts. 

牢记過去恩惠，宣揚天國榮耀

1. 來自天父創新的異象
• 使16:9 夜裡，保羅看見了一個異象：一個馬其頓人站著懇求他，說：「請你過來，到馬其頓來幫助我們。」中文標準譯本 (CSB Traditional) 當保羅看見這異象之後，我們就認定是神召喚我們去傳福音給他們，於是立刻設法前往馬其頓省。
  
2. 神感動的工人
1. 西區聖道堂李滌生牧師
2. 迦密山浸信會Rev Richard Phillips
3. 西區聖道堂幾位愛主同工
   
4. 主恩堂神學生
3. 天父安排的早期同工
1. 比較成熟又有事奉經驗
2. 教會所有事情（除了主日講台）全由此團隊承擔
3. 會眾參加禱告會比例達百分之八十
4. 天父引領林牧師夫婦來主恩堂
5. 天父攪動鷹巢的苦心
1. 使用迦密山浸信會
2. 迦密山上的安樂窩
3. 租約問題引起的風波。逼使教會在1991年開始了第一次建堂計劃
6. 死蔭的幽谷主同行
1. 1997 同工衝突
7. 向上向前向四方
1. 2000 粵語分堂 西區分堂
2. 中區
3. 北區
4. 歺福團契
5. Convoy 粵語福音團契
6. 市區老人公寓團契