Precisous Poems From Home, Far Away, So Far Away Home

南乡子

龙山早看春，桃花绽放新红染。莺歌燕语蜂蝶舞，心醉。黄柳自愧不成荫。 阵阵烈风吹，漫卷枝头落英泪。可怜桃花半度春，心碎。憔悴残花伴黄昏。

——66年春上山观桃花有感

水调歌头

魑魅当纵横，感慨何其多。是非真伪善恶，何能论清浊。大地突犹群魔，演尽人间纷争讹诈豪强夺。将帅功臣众，身心兼折磨。 国社平，百姓安，两蹉跎。睡梦呵呓语，醒后心潮滂沱。颠狂惶惶乱世，纵有千万疆域，却无读书阁。年华将去也，无处书悲歌。

——忆文革彭大将军等被批

浣溪沙

大驿龙泉独立楼，门前小桥溪水流，石嵌经起伏幽。 往事不堪再回首，当年楼台多悲故，何人欢乐万众愁。

——忆文革中期部分群众被批斗

水调歌头

人生本苦短，光阴似飞箭。年少不知愁烦，疏懒且贪欢。京闱波烟骤起，苛罪同滥九州，噩梦续不断，惊魂添新恐，境似非人间。 心不思，口无语，笔墨闲。空有心志，蹉跎岁月残。重观过往诸事，斑斑血痕怵目，泪横颤心寒。痛观攘攘事，夜梦觅丘丹。

——忆文革武斗期

鹧鸪天

悲叹豺狼当今辙，痛视不堪甚时节。志士恻心同悲泪，英睿更勇女豪杰。 怜苍生，襟怀国，痛斥奸恶义声色。视死如归无所惧，英年遇难众悲切。

——祭张志新、林召女士遭四人帮杀害

七律

茅屋依山小溪环，前松后竹半遮掩。

篱外红朵迎蝶放，小道盘绕隐山弯。

日出农耕劳田亩，夜来挑灯读圣贤。

不问世间功禄事，身在人间心似仙。

——忆文革后期与王守珍、徐旭等一同下乡

鹧鸪天

①墨夜凄风阵阵啸，快车坠落飞龙桥。幸得村夫来相助，匆匆送来金灵庙。 紧拍门，急呼叫，闻讯救生忙着袄。离家闭门心沉沉，可怜独卧我小娇娇。

②夜阑母去布衾冷，小娇醒来啼恐惊。秉性仁慈出善举，珍君冒寒慰幼心。 轻抱起，慈语声，君旁小娇觉天明。此举此恩铭终老，深情厚义重千钧。

——忆我为难时王守珍给我的帮助

菩萨蛮

珍君离乡经年久，闻君仙逝痛失友。往事历历目，音容阑珊处。 邻友闲话时，手间操线织。骤雨恶劲风，付之笑谈中。

——忆珍君

邓承容于2008年除夕

Time for Thanksgiving

Next week, there is a dinner to share thanksgiving stories at church: Chinese Bible Church of SD.

My 2008 story is rich in many aspects:

1. Jan/Feb/March: CCB conflict with a friend and colleague. Studying the book "Resolving Conflicts at work".
2. April/May: my self-righteousness and arrogance during the conflict above led to big setback during performance review with my boss. I dropped into deep depression.
   
3. During these dark hours, I took morning devotion seriously, utilizing a Christmas gift: "Wisdom for Today". My morning devotions convicted me of my total depravity. I admited to God and men my brokenness. Admission of my brokenness lifted my spirit up because I knew His presence and His love. He loves me hence He revealed His presence to me. I sensed His daily presence during every sweat hour of daily devotion for at least 10 days, every day. His clear and loving presence touched my heart. I became convinced that He care how I react to what happens to me. I was ready and eager to follow His words of wisdom. My submission to His words brought me immense peace and joy, Even though there was no change WRT the amount of bad news at work.
4. Then came the marriage class and consceling. During those sessions, I discovered how I have been addicted to work. The addiction was beyond repair.
5. Then came the layoff in July 24.
6. Then came the big auto accident on Aug 24. By that time I had been prepared by God to depend on him. The overflow of unconditional love from friends and family taught me one lessen: I have intrinsic lovability. I don't have to prove myself by my accomplishments.
7. Could it be this accident is necessary to rid me of my addiction?
   

I am going to jot down my story in Chinese.

我受苦是与我有益

那是一个很大的车祸， 发生在2008年8月一次去教会的路上。
我开车通过有绿灯的路口。被一辆半吨卡车高速撞在左侧。撞击前一刹那， 眼睛没看到但我脑海感到有一四方体飞过来，且有一个声音说：别怕，都安排好了。
然后我就失去了知觉. 醒来的时候, 觉得人轻飘飘的. 发现车子停在草丛中. 看见救火队员在外面. 我觉得呼吸有点困难,但不痛. 他问我, "能爬出来吗?". 我觉得有东西压著我动不了, 就回答"NO". 后来就不及得了.

过了不知道多久, 有人讲话的声音唤醒了我. 好象是救火队员之间的讲话:　＂.. cut his pants and shirts... （剪下长裤和衬衫）", 原来我是躺在急救车里．但很快我又失去了知觉．

再次醒来的时候，　就已经到医院．　我想起下午和邵万里弟兄的约定，不知如何通报他改期．我躺在推车上面．有人问我家里人呢，因为全家会了台湾，我想起了小组王迪贞弟兄，就把电话背出来．

后来我在加护病房，很快教会的林牧师，师母和弟兄姊妹就来看我．医生告诉他们我受伤很重，　断了七根肋骨，骨盆碎裂需要动大手术．听到这情况，师母建议通知内人．我正好记得，就给师母我太太在台湾的电话．

在加护病房的那几天，医院每次只让两人探访我．我的朋友向我抱怨：你们教会人太多，让我排队很久来看你，我以后也要去你们教会．

等骨盆的伤口流血减少以后，我进去手术６小时１５分中，其间主内６位弟兄姊妹全程在手术室外祷告．

大夫说手术很车成功．我相信与弟兄姊妹的恒切祷告很有关系．

手术后第二天就开始做物理治疗．两礼拜以后，我搬到康复医院．在康复医院５天以后我就出院回家．在加调养料不到两个月，我就蹴著拐杖上班．

今年的感恩节，我有好几项感恩的大事．

1. ４月份我在人际关系的风浪中经受圣灵的管教，破碎自以为是的老我．在大风大浪中我多次感受到圣灵在灵修时与我同在，我感受到主无条件的慈爱，这爱更加激励我信靠顺服他．诗119:71“我受苦是与我有益，为要使我学习你的律例。”．　４月份的奇妙经历也加给我内心力量来面对后来的危机．
2. ７月２４日我拿到解雇工作的通知单．８月２４日我撞车受了重伤．然而神的恩典够我用，救我从很危险的情况下存活下来，赐我第二生命活在心爱的家人和朋友中间，而神也赐我新的工作．
3. 撞车的那天，家里其他大人小孩都不在车里．
4. 住院三礼拜，包括康复中心，每天都有教会来的探访者，加上其它访客，还带来满屋子的鲜花，我能进食后，很高兴每餐都有弟兄姊妹送鸡汤等补品来．特别感动6位事务繁忙的弟兄姊妹为我的一个手术恒切祷告六小时，让我感动不已．我自问：＂我一个渺小不成熟的信徒，神为何如此器重我，万般疼爱我？＂　我的眼泪就会忍不住留下来．
5. 年初我们的家庭小组只有四五家人定期聚会，感谢主答应了祷告，今天已倍增了．我们还有热心的组员恢复每周三祷告会．众多祷告中，特别要提起Lynette 家的Mark Cooly。 六月份Mark 得了重病。他以为没救了。更我们大家诀别后他一个人回老家Montreal. 我们小组组员没有对他放弃。几个月以后，奇迹发生了。Mr. Cooley 的身心健康大为好转。特别腹腔里的肿块确定是良性。他的就了。一个家庭也蒙神怜悯渡过难关。

Career at Qualcomm Week 1 (Nov 3 - Nov 9): Learn to Tough It Up

Miraculously, I returned to work Monday in Qualcomm's building R (photo above). The first day was a bit challenging. First, the commute was bad due to minor rain fall. I-15 was jammed when I finished aqua-therapy around 8:15am. There was a car accident on I-15. There was also heavy traffic on Mira Mesa Boulevard. It took me about 1 hour to get to building S. More over, the first day had more than 8 hours of sitting in different meetings. My injured hip was very sour near the end. Thankfully, I endured through.

It turned out that my new job is very interesting. Even though I was given the option to work from home, I didn't work from home at all. It was fun in the office.

Road To Recovery: Week 9 (Oct 26 to Nov 2, 2008)

In order to go back to work, there were a few things to prepare in the last week before working again:

1. Combat the pain associated with long-time-sitting. The main factor was excercise of the hip mustles both in the pool and on the dry land. The other factors included massage (with the help of a friend, as well as a shiatsu foot massager) and a donut seat cusion.
2. Develope mental and physical endurance for 8-hours of office work. I was able to swim between 800 feet to 1200 feet none stop daily. I was also able to swim with one breath 25 feet daily.

Additionally, I met with friends from previous jobs for lunch twice, to get a feel of interactions with co-workers.

Peace Past Understanding

I was a bit nervous this morning, worrying about the doctor's visit: what if the X-ray shows that the fractures in the pelvis are not healing? Would I still be able to go back to work as planned? What if I will suffer long term arthritis from the injuries?

In the past 3 days, as if they talked to each other (they don't even know each other), my friends Joseph, Ping and Jessie reminded me, in different occassions, to pray more, so I did. I asked God to use me to glorify His own name (Phillipians 1:20) and to re-affirm my commitment to believing in Him.

I was close tears when, at around 4pm, Dr. Tonks examed my X-ray, asked me a few questions, then announced that I should be ready to go back work if I want to. I am free of the complications that I feared. How grateful I was!

At the end of the day, those prayes during the day helped greatly for me to experience "peace past all understanding" as in Phillipians 4:6-7:

• Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Road to Recovery: Hightlights During Week 8, Walking in the Pool

1. Today is the first day of Week 8. We went to see Dr. Tonks for 2nd followup. Just before that, a new pelvis X-ray was taken. It showed that everything is fine, although Dr. Tonks could not tell every status of the cracks in the bone, since the plates blocked his view. He said that during the surgery he fixed the cracks 100%, such that I just have to give it enough time, i.e. until end of Nov, before walking again.

Our annual Disney membership expires Oct 25, so we visited Disneyland and stayed at Grand California Disney hotel. We took advantage of handicap lines (really fast) at one of the rides, then the kids went on the rest of the rides with mom, and I spent most of the two days in Disney swimming pools.

1. 
   
2. Dr. Tonks said OK about walking in the pool, so I did just that tonight at LA Fitness. It was very awkward to walk. My left leg and left foot felt a bit painful. Nonetheless, I walked for about 10 minutes in total, and was getting better towards the end.
   
   

He also assured me that I won't have arthritis, because the both-column acetabulum fractures distributed energy of the impact well such that the inside wall was not damaged, and the bone fragments were large.

However, he asked me to stretch the muscles for moving left leg backwards while keeping upper body straight.

For the most part, I stopped using the walker and the wheel chair: I use crutches that Will Shao lent me most of the time, in preparation to going back to work.

Acetabular Joint

The picture here is in Chinese that shows the acetabular bone.

I took a closer look at the report Dr. Tonks wrote about my surgery. One thing struck me was how the human pelvis functions. Acetabular joint looks insignificant on the X-ray, but its sophistication can only be appreciated in a 3-D model like this one. From Dr. Tonks' report, one of the worst part of my injury was the both-column acetabular fracture.

see this link for more background in Chinese:

http://waike.hxkang.com/diedasunshang/yyzl/46594.html

see this link for more background in English:

http://www.hss.edu/conditions_14420.asp