Sleep hygeen

Made two mistakes i watched movie yoiyube in bed, disruppting sleep pattern.

Had half romeron last night.

Swam 1900 yard friday

New week New Hope

長周末休息很多，感謝主

今天聽約15章我求神在我裡面一同要結果子，即內心宽容平和喜樂的品格

Decide to follow 1 year through bible

Today: John 13:13 to John 14:20

Focus in 2  verses: 求主賜我智慧即明白又遵行的頭腦和力量.

14 你 們 若 奉 我 名 求 甚 麼 、 我 必 成 就15 

我想奉主名求潔淨的心正直的靈，這對我很難，但在人不能的事在上帝萬事都能。

欣賞人包括自己的長處

接納人的短處

紀念他人的好處

擔當他人的難處

昨天與李弟兄Vinson打壁球，約兩小時，與這半年不同，之後沒有泄力症狀。

看來Rameron，睡眠夠和游泳開始生效了.

問題：或許家傳的

我頭腦中有幾樣膽小的事：

1. 見Chris Henroid / eric tallet / Steve Molloy / 

2. Smmu training topic and Guo Min

3. Face George, Mingxi and Franky Lee

Lord please give me the courage to face my fear and overcome my above shameful anxiety. I know You can.

14 你 們 若 奉 我 名 求 甚 麼 、 我 必 成 就 。

14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.

15 你 們 若 愛 我 、 就 必 遵 守 我 的 命 令 。

信心太小

早上与妻禱告，她坦承地指出我不信聖經關於主掌管明天的道理，且失去平安，却凭血性任意孤行已意. I really have to change, but i am weak. God please help me and change my heart.

Swim log:  2300 yards.

在困難中說細拉安息

從上周五開始吃Remeron. 第一晩吃一片，睡到十一點。然後精神充沛作工專注；第二天又吃一片睡不着；周日吃半片，睡覺很好，早起游泳。周一上班心情平安。第二天起太晚，有些anxiety. 八點上床睡覺到清晨五時起床去游泳，一天有精力；但下午感覺药力減少

今天是週四，昨晨禱告書逸勸我

求罪得洗淨， 其次是病得醫治。

今晚加到一片藥

homework before taking remeron

Remeron is known to be:

1. Serotonergic
2. Nonadraenergic (not related to adraneline)

It may cause agranulocytosis, or low white blood cell,  as side effect, albeit rare: one in 1000. It is also reversible.


The elimination half-life is 20 to 40 hours, so a steady state is reached in about 5 days



It is metabolized in the liver via the P450 cytochome oridase pathway

Count my blessings

Today glorypress devotion: 航行於風浪中.

經文: 「我們經過水火；您卻使我們到豐富之地。」（詩六十六12）

Good start praying wife my dearest wife. She prayed for God to grant understanding of the pain and illness that I have struggled with since a year ago 3/2014.

Dear Shuyi, your faith your blessed assurance lifted up my spirit. Hope i can do it again tonight before bed.

今天第五次晨游泳. 70 分鐘～800 yard core, 700 warm up, 600 kicks and pulls.

I feel less numb in legs and saddle area.

Praise the Lord.

Struggle journal

I had a relatively good sleep until 3:15am, then slept again until ~5:15am.

But then chemical or hormone attacks started. I felt my heart was beating fast, i felt head and brain slowing down and running circles, felt pain near top of head.

我好苦, 耶穌救我脫離這取死的肉體.

前天去Sharp MRI center 作了約兩小時檢查，是Dr. Leskar 要求作的，不知他會作出什麼診斷.

Dr Anchi Wang 給我開Remeron antidepressant, 她相信很安全，一周后我想該試試.

最大願望是求主醫治這鐐鋯我的chemical attack. 若主許可，求拿走這下體头腔的苦痛. 但不要照我的意思要照你的旨意.