2012 Resolutions Taylor

1. Do 3 verses at every Awana
2. Finish the rest of the Edge Chronicles
3. Clean legos so destiny's bounties can fit
4. Get Jr. Black Belt
5. Try to get from 231 Map score to 251, or 95%
6. learn the front stroke
7. Get 10 more shares of McDonalds in savings.
8. Work with Dad to organize the drawers under bed by Feb 14, 2012

reflecting on my failed attempts

During last week's support group meeting, George Chu asked us to reflect on failures in 2011.

Yesterday I had three that demotivated me, threatening to put me down into minor depressions:

1. I promised to finish SMMUv2 Arch Overview by end of this week. I let my mind distracted by other things such as talks about PCIe and BCAST data flow. I got scared that my mind works so out of focus, just like I am an ADD. God, what can I do?
2. I was late for Dr. Gan appointment by 20 minutes. What did I do? I kept trying to write a few more slides in my Arch Overview, procrastinating the scheduled departure.
3. Most importantly, my expectation of getting my ION article published by LWN.net is not going anywhere. I'm scared. What a failure I am!

Finally a Vision for 2nd Half

22 months ago, I wrote down the vision for 2nd half of my services, life as a steward, in Hyderabad, India.

This weekend (Oct 14 and 15), during a Royal Ranger retreat/camp, I re-affirmed this calling, here-in recorded, in 25 words or less:

"Decepted and depressed men touched by the mystery of God's love commit to Biblical values, adopt disciplined ways to relate to God and men, breaking free from self deceptions and addictions."

1 year Expected Results Tracy and Taylor (by Sep 2012)

Tracy:

1. Complete another Summit Leadership Camp.
2. Compete and win in Bible Quiz
3. Stay 95% or higher at MAP and Star tests.

Taylor:

1. Otain Black belt status.
2. Stay 90% or higher at MAP and Star tests.
3. Annie and Joseph come for Christmas.
4. (Added Dec 22, 2011) Read 10000 pages

2008年4月21日是一个转折

2008 年4月, 因评职称我很不高兴.老板给了我很出乎意料的评分 (3/5), 涨薪平平, 而且没有升Senior Staff. 我很难过, 好几天睡不好. 找同事们参谋后我开始上诉. 不料过程漫长. 在痛苦中我的晨更帮了我.很多人都渴望经历神迹, 我很幸运在那时连续四十天清晨得听他慈爱之 言. 2008年4月21日是一个转折. 头天太太和我在RB Sushi 在深谈我如何走出目前的困境. 她暗示我反复强调经历逆境和患难, 而未开口反省我对老板和与我为难的同事不礼貌,骄傲和论断. 这种心态有没有 冒犯老板? 我听了没正面答她. 心里想, 我痛苦万分, 你偏偏还责备我.

可万万没想到21号一大早就读到这段话: 

       詩 篇 32:3-5 3 我 闭 口 不 认 罪 的 时 候 ， 因 终 日 唉 哼 而 骨 头 枯 乾 。 4 黑 夜 白 日 ， 你 的 手 在 我 身 上 沉 重 ； 我 的 精 液 耗 尽 ， 如 同 夏 天 的 乾 旱 。 （ 细 拉 ） 5 我 向 你 陈 明 我 的 罪 ， 不 隐 瞒 我 的 恶 。 我 说 ： 我 要 向 耶 和 华 承 认 我 的 过 犯 ， 你 就 赦 免 我 的 罪 恶 。 

 跟老板关系闹僵, 我走出来的两点体会: 

1. 若我没有反省,纠正自己的态度,还会类似的关系冲突. 
2. 听太太的feedback时, 不要马上回答.

明白耶稣的安排

五月二曰礼拜一我开会明 白RICH Stewart will try his best to put the performance team in a new project under Torrey Harmon or Tony Schwartz organizations.

Victor 和我也开始活动，想了解Torrey and Tony organizations' culture: are they working crazy hours?

1. In the modem L1 group, in Tony's line, Vinayak Chowdiah has been for 5 years. He told us the QCT L1 team works 12 hour days. Many burn out and move to QGOV.
2. In the Android Power team, Prasad Herur said he likes his job supporting many lines of Android phones: 40+. Works 10 hours days plus weekends. He told Victor he is on-call in evenings. His lead is reachable weekends too, much like target teams. I called Frank Zhang, who introduced me to Zhang Jun (Zhang, Xuejun). Jun called me yesterday (Friday) for ~40 minutes. Looks like he is evaluating me. He is very open. He visited HTC last month. He is Power Team. His team works with India in a 24-hour mode.

Victor found that Johny John in QCT Architecture group, parallel to Idris Mir, has just openned 10 reqs last week, for SW architecture people with power and performance focuses.

Victor asked me to try. We went to get RIch's permission first. Rich said it is important we make up our mind this time, in stead of changing after 3 month. He said we could send an email to Mark Guzzi to look for Architecture work.

I spent 2 hours updating resume to send to Mark Guzzi.

太多路， 太不确定， 我很七上八下。

Amazingly, this morning devotion brought comfort, great comfort:

3:3 不 可 使 慈 愛 誠 實 離 開 你 ． 要 繫 在 你 頸 項 上 、 刻 在 你 心 版 上 ．
3:4 這 樣 、 你 必 在 　 神 和 世 人 眼 前 蒙 恩 寵 、 有 聰 明 。
3:5 你 要 專 心 仰 賴 耶 和 華 、 不 可 倚 靠 自 己 的 聰 明 ．
3:6 在 你 一 切 所 行 的 事 上 、 都 要 認 定 他 、 他 必 指 引 你 的 路 。
3:7 不 要 自 以 為 有 智 慧 ． 要 敬 畏 耶 和 華 、 遠 離 惡 事 ．


Victor and I did two things right: we both committed 100% to obey. We prayed earnestly together, for 40 minutes, and 10 minutes on Wed and Friday.

The 3rd step is to not make a decision until I have inquired of the Lord.


Though we didn't hear Angel's words to say Tony, Torrey or Gil, I know that I am to just live my life committed to Him; trust Him, and acknowledge Him when I have an impulse to move in one way or another direction.

renew my vows to Jesus

Today I came across a verse that I used to pledge to God:

Psalm 119:71:

119:71 我 受 苦 是 與 我 有 益 、 為 要 使 我 學 習 你 的 律 例 。
119:72 你 口 中 的 訓 言 、 與 我 有 益 、 勝 於 千 萬 的 金 銀 。